Dry-Hopped Gentlemen 2.0: Official Founder Photo

I feel it is my obligation to warn you before you scroll down and view the rest of this bloggy-post thing. The warning is this: the founders of Union Beer Co. are unbelievably beautiful. So beautiful that at some point while reading this post you are going to think you are looking at some sort of hot guy nudey pics site. How hot are we, you ask? So hot we've been seduced by Mayor Sam Adams... twice. (Take that Beau Breedlove, or whatever your real name is.) We informed Mr. Adams that, while flattered, we are not homosexuals. We then offered him a Red Roses for Me ale but were recently informed that, typical of Adams, he could not wait until the bottle was fully-aged to give it a taste. (Be sure to tip your waitresses, folks!)

I give you this warning because this post consist of out-takes from the Official Union Beer Co. Founders photo shoot. At first, the shoot was extremely professional and elegant. We raised the flag of our glorious country, we lit a nice fire to create a comforting setting, and we straightened our designer ties preparing for what deemed to be a sophisticated photo shoot. But put two good-looking guys in front of a camera and their inherent modeling tendencies are sure to come out!

The importance of the Official Founders Photo is huge. We want a photo that says, "Hey, kid. How old are you? What's that you say? 21? Put down that 40 and bong and come have a drink with us!" It is also very important from a PR standpoint. We can all remember the "nipple-gate" PR fiasco that happened with Dick and Nancy Ponzi at the Super Bowl Halftime a few years ago. Their Official Founders photo was plastered all over newspapers across America. Though I have to say after seeing the Halftime performance, Nancy was looking pretty good for her age.

So here are some out-takes, building dramatically towards the unveiling of the Official Union Beer Co. Founders photo! Enjoy!

This is an early shot. You can see how professional we look. And you can also see the BRoy Nikes, intentionally placed in the shot. It shows how we are "dope" with the kids. I like this shot, but I feel it doesn't quite capture the sassiness of the founders.

Here's a shot where the fire was getting a bit out of hands. The last thing we want is a burning American flag in the background of the Official photo. Good thing both founders had their BRoys on to protect us from all harm.

Ah oh... did someone say, "Switch positions?"

Now that's the sass I was talking about!

How about a glass of Union Beer Co.? Yes, please...

This would have to be second place in the final votes. Very sassy. Very warm. Very inviting. Maybe a little too warm and inviting. The sass level is about right.

God bless America!

This will be our official photo once Brandon Roy returns our phone calls.

This is our "Just getting off work" look. You can be sure this shot was followed by Alex searching for Lady Gaga or Kevin Rudolf On-demand.

This one may be a bit too celebratory. We will use this as our official photo once we put Roots Brewing out of business. They are our brewing opposites. We are proudly zero-percent organic and use absolutely nothing sustainable. In fact, for every bottle of Union Beer Co. we brew Peter randomly chops down a tree and laughs maniacally while we drive away in our Hummer.

The double point is always good. But I think it may be a bit too aggressive. Plus we are smiling. So it's like we are joyously intimidating you. I'm not sure if that is what we want to convey.